Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
