The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I just put wine in my tea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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