sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize