i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
