And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
