Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize