haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
