normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
