My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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