The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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