I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
