I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I could fuck to npr.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize