I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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