Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize