i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
