Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
