Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
