I have demons in me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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