I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
