at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
