I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
