Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
