I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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