theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
