And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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