Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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