I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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