u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
