Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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