Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
