Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
my liver is dry heaving
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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