did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
