I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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