he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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