Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
