I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize