Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
