3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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