i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize