More tranny stories later!
how can u be prego again
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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