I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize