Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
