sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
