Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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