feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize