In the future we'll all be gay
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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