remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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