So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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