she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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