Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
