so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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