There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize