He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
