I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
