He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
