Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
