I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
