We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
