Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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