Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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