I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
