i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
